As Publisher Linda Joy outlined so beautifully in her post on authentic storytelling, our stories are “spirit nets,” linking us to everyone in our world. When we tap into the power of story, we access some the most potent tools for communication, relationship, and transformation available to us as human beings.
Our experiences—the numerous chapters of our stories—shape us, empower us, and act as guides to our future actions. Life events large and small form the framework of our personal plot; our responses to these events supply the action and develop our character. Sometimes, our actions steer us toward growth and expansion… And sometimes, not so much. In the end, it’s our failures, not our successes, which provide the greatest impetus for positive change—and which, subsequently, make the best stories!
As a writer, editor, and voracious reader, I’ve witnessed time and again the potential for story to solidify, even create, a sense of connection and community among people. As a conscious, modern woman, leader, speaker, business owner, coach, or healer, you may have already discovered the power of story to deepen your relationships with clients and peers. Your story may already be an integral part of your work—the raison d’etre for your business. If that’s the case, understanding how you show up as the heroine in your own story can help you hone your message and connect more deeply with everyone you want to reach.
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Understand the power of your character. The greatest stories aren’t memorable for their plots, but for their characters. More drama does not a perfect tale make! When shaping your personal story—on paper or verbally—be aware that it’s your human feelings and foibles, not your life events, to which others will gravitate most strongly. In other words, very few people will climb Mount Everest or win the lottery, but nearly everyone can relate to the elation of realizing a long-desired dream.
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Be vulnerable. If you’ve managed to rebuild your life from scratch after a major upheaval or have found the blessings in a terrible life event, you’ve got a lot of wisdom to share. But even though you’ve worked really, really hard to focus on the positive side of things, it’s important to share the tough spots, too. What seem to you like moments of weakness will, to someone walking a similar path, be compelling reminders of your humanness.
- Don’t try to create a persona. The best characters in history or fiction surprise us with the less-obvious aspects of their personalities. Those who don’t change or evolve (think, perhaps, of the hard-bitten detectives in certain multi-book series) eventually fall flat. When sharing our own stories, it’s tempting to oversimplify—to hone in on certain aspects of our experience and downplay others—in order to connect with a certain group of people. While this can be effective in the short term, it can, over time, box you in and create a two-dimensional persona that seems less than authentic. You may be a survivor of cancer, a successful entrepreneur, or an Olympic gymnast, but that’s not all you are. Tell your story with focus, but remember that you’re a multi-faceted gem, and can shine from many angles.
So go ahead: share your story. Tell your raw and real tale to the world, fully and without embellishment, and prepare to be amazed at the authentic connections you’ll discover in return!
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